Mean Girls
Mean girls suck.
Today I was walking down the street, literally, minding my business with my friend Meghan. I am wearing a new dress today. And shoes that make me feel strong and confident. We were just coming back from a fun lunch with friends.
Unbeknownst to me, a stranger snaps a picture of Meg and I strolling. She posts this tweet:
I didn’t see the tweet. But some of my Twitter friends did. And eventually, a friend alerted me to it. At first I laughed. Isn’t that what you do when you want to appear strong? Sure, a few tears came. No one likes being made fun of no matter how confident they seem.
But then I took action. I responded to her tweet. And I confronted those who I am friends with who also apparently had an opinion on the matter. Some via tweets. Some less publicly.
The reality is, I look at that picture and still feel good about my outfit. I am not offended that she doesn’t. But what I don’t get is this notion that being a mean girl is ok. It’s not. It’s never ok.
Judging a stranger who is crossing the street because you don’t like her choice of clothing. Taking a picture. Tweeting it. Defending it. Engaging in multiple conversations about it. That’s a lot of effort to be mean.
I am 31 years old. This shit still happens? Let’s stop. Honestly, just stop.
Because this is too small of a city to start a war against a stranger for her fashion choices.
Fight a bigger battle.
Thanks to those who support me. My white dress. My shoes. See ya at the club later? It’s apparently what this outfit was made for. 
Meg, you’re too awesome of a person. Don’t let it get ya down!
Thank you so much. The support has been overwhelming!
This is too funny — in the ‘big picture’ scheme of things Meggie. I think you look awesome. I think you look work appropriate. And I think you should absolutely love the look and feel confident as h*ll doing so.
I agree with your lesson people could learn from it too: mean people suck. That is NEVER a good look.
Thanks so much for your support, Ryan!
OMG – Not only do Mean Girls Suck – but that dress is AMAZING! Who the eff does she think she is? Clearly not someone confident enough to probably even wear white – ever! I mean really!!!
And for the record – I wore my running shorts and a tank top to work today – have been asked oh, about 10 times how my run was. Seriously folks, it’s too damn hot to run outside (at least for me) and if I did, I would NEVER be able to go anywhere in public in the same outfit… my point is, I CHOOSE to wear what I want because I LIKE IT!
You CHOOSE to wear what you do because you LOOK AMAZING in it. period. AMAZING – fuck. her.
Thatta girl! I love that you rocked the running look. You’re a doll. Thank you.
Whoa.
WHOA.
I have been watching your fierce shoe week on IG with applause, if you have them, wear them. I also see nothing wrong with what you’re wearing, I trust that if you’re fine with it? Your office is fine with it and that’s all that matters.
*sigh*
This hurts my heart. I’ve made mistakes as well, horrible awful mistakes that have hurt people and hopefully people will learn from this before they make the mistake of hurting someone else, intentionally or unintentionally.
It hurts to be the subject of ridicule. It hurts in an entirely different way to know that you caused another human being hurt. (I mean, at least for anyone with a conscious.)
I totally agree. I certainly didn’t expect this outcrying of support and hope that she isn’t hurt in the process either. We’ve all done silly things. My guess is that her practice of snapping pictures and tweeting negative things about them will hopefully retire after yesterday. And for that, I am happy. Love all that you do on social media and appreciate your support so much.
I think Moosh has a great point. Obviously the tweet wasn’t done with any malicious intent. Also, it’s important to remember that she wasn’t judging you. She made a comment about your outfit selection one day. She didn’t conclude anything about you based on that outfit, in fact, the tweet was that it was sexy. The response from the masses, while supportive of you, has been largely hateful to her. In fact, I’d say as a whole it has been much more hateful and judgmental than her original tweet. Maybe it’s time to calm the masses and accept her apology for unintentionally hurting your feelings. At this point your followers are doing to her precisely what you complained she had done to you.
Leslie, thank you for your comment. I do disagree on a few things but let me first start by saying that I have accepted her apology and have forgiven. I wish her no ill will. However, judging my outfit is judging me. My style. My choice. My image. All of things that are part of who I am. And for the forseeable fiture i will scrutinize my fashion choices more than i have all because of a stranger who hurt me. What she did was hurtful, although I am 100% sure at least initially, she didn’t expect for me to ever see it. But when she was alerted that others knew me, she didn’t take it down, she laughed. And i wasnt the only subject of these twitpic attacks. I was just the most recent. Regardless, those that have lashed out have done so on their own accord and in protection and love for me. I never asked them to do that. But as one friend said, ” I am sure she is a nice person. But you know who else is? The one crying at her desk over an image of herself being publicly judged by a stranger while she was just walking down the street. And I choose to support her.” I want to move past the tweet and the incident. The best thing about it all is that we have all learned a lesson. Being mean, judgmental aren’t necessary. We can all be kinder. Me included.
In a society full of parodies and sarcasm, it’s unfortunate that people forget others are actual people with feelings. Looking at Jaime Lira’s twitter account, she frequently posts #crimesagainstfashion pictures. Shame on her. Clearly she does not understand the concept and impact of SOCIAL media. Keep doing what you do, Meggie. Don’t let some self-proclaimed professional of marketing and self-branding (ha) let you feel any differently.
Thanks so much Dana. I would guess after yesterday, maybe that hashtag will be retired
Very tacky and I’m so sorry it happened to you. It’s a fine lesson to all of us to mind our Social Media manners at all times! Once again, I’m so sorry you were the brunt of it.
You’re exactly right. We’re all guilty of the occasional judgment. Not a bad lesson for any of us. Thank you!
You two are beautiful and strong ladies, inside and out. End of story.
Let’s start with the fact that you look fantastic. And THEN move on to the notion that this person a) THOUGHT your dress wasn’t her favorite b) somehow has enough time on her hands to surreptitiously snap your photo and c) post a snarky comment as that makes her smart? fashion savvy? witty?
None of the above.
This is the first time I’ve stopped by your site, so I don’t know you at all… but I will say this – I know it is hard to keep intentional snarkiness and cruelty (even when it is disguised as ‘humor’ or ‘wit’) from getting under your skin. Keep your chin up. You wear white well. Continue to embrace your confidence.
I think you rocked that dress hard core, and this person should have her smartphone removed from her Judgy McJudgerson hand and smashed with a hammer. How dare she, who is she to criticize?
Oh my gosh what is wrong with her? You look fabulous!
Steph
Hot, some people will just be jealous.
Yeah, I am hoping so
Thanks ,Rob
Honest to goodness – I’ve NEVER seen you wear anything that was not work appropriate – and you would be confidant and sexy in a burlap bag with a hole for a neckline. Too much entitlement from someone who does not know you. Also, you might want to ask her if she has a model release and permission to use your image on her blog/site.
Thanks, Karla Sue. It is nice to get that validation. Girls can be jerks but I like your idea of needing a release!
Way to go, Meggie! While you will probably always remember this act of craziness by this other woman (crazy is what it is to spend that much time on someone’s outfit and judging someone else like this), you will also always remember how you stood up for yourself, because you’re WORTH sticking up for. Clearly you are a woman with good self-esteem and knows how to navigate in the world:) and has pretty dang cool style, too. The photo is beautiful of you and your friend. And it looks like you’re having fun! Remember THAT part of your day. You know the other woman has some problems with herself, right? It just stinks her problems had to get enmeshed with you. But there you go, maybe you taught her a lesson in kindness (and to your other friends on Twitter, too). It’s like you just put a big sign up in the universe…”You can count on me to be kind!” Hold that sign proudly, keep having FUN, and keep on running!
You said it best. Kindness is what matters. And I was having fun! It was a good day….until
Thank you!
Are you kidding me?!? I want to borrow that outfit!! I LOVE it!!! xoxo
And you can
I think you look great. I assume you are not breaking any dress code at work, so rock on. I often see outfits in downtown Chicago that make me wonder where someone works, but I would never take a picture, let alone tweet it. That’s mean and immature.
Yes, people at my work wear jeans and some even shorts! I understand that not everyone gets that….but it was just a dumb thing to do. No need to hurt people. Thanks for your support!
I don’t actually know you. Which may be why I can’t even tell which outfit is supposed to be so bad. I think both women look lovely. I only wish I could look so good.
And I like you…..even without knowing you. Thank you!
Meggie – you are amazing and you look amazing in that dress. Don’t know about the lady behind the lens but I am soooo jealous and can only dream of looking so utterly fabulous. Who the heck is this sad woman posting pictures of random people and being so mean? Karma is a wonderful thing
At least she posted an apology… I should think so too!! What a bitch! Please don’t let her spoil your day/week etc. Just take it for what it is, one person’s opinion/humour. What a horrid way to waste one’s time. As if we don’t give ourselves a hard enough time everyday. I feel very cross for you and am sending lots of love your way from London. Keep being fabulous every day in every way. Hold your head high while she holds hers in shame for being such a mean girl!!! Was that a bit mean of me??? Sending hugs from me and the boys xxx
Thank you Clare. You are so sweet and always so supportive. I love you and appreciate your friendship so much. Miss you and all your boys! XOXO
She had to make sure she got her finger in the shot…it holds the entirety of her dignity and this was the last known picture of it.
Hahah. Yes.
You look beautiful…I’m so sorry and disappointed to hear that happened.
Thank you, Leslie.
xoxo
You look hot!!! Screw mean girls with no self confidence of their own!
Thanks, Lauren. Appreciate your support!
Um, yeah, I see that pic and see a girl I want to hire to style my lack of fashion self. Honestly.
So sorry about the mean girls. We can justify it all we want but it still hurts. I am so glad you shared, though, because people need to understand that social media is not a cover- up for humanity.
Sad that it takes awesome and confident people like you to hammer that message home.
Well if you take my fashion advice, beware! You could be next!
Thanks for all your continued support!
When friends ridicule strangers using social media, it makes me so sad and uncomfortable and ashamed. It’s just in poor taste and bad form. This situation is especially awful because you are one of the most positive, constructive people I “know” online. Seeing you being torn down this way, when you spend so much of your time building other people up, sucks. And you know what it made me realize? Those strangers I occasionally see people I follow poke fun of for a cheap laugh deserve more too. They could very well be as kindhearted as you. At the very least, they’d feel mortified and embarrassed if they knew they were the unwitting butt of someone’s joke.
Your outfit is completely irrelevent to the discussion because even the tackiest dress wouldn’t justify the tweet, but I think you look great.
Thank you so much. It really does mean the world to have found such powerful and positive women in my life. Even if just virtually.
Whoa. You look great. It is sad that the tweeter is so lacking in self-confidence that they feel the need to do something like this. Kudos to you for sharing.
Thanks so much for your kind words
Mean girls DO suck and can suck it! You look fabulous and confident. Love the dress and it’s perfectly sexy in a great way. I’m sorry you hurt over what was said. Be better. The other person must not be very happy if they’re turning to bring others down. FTW. Own it.
Coming from you this means the world! I have always looked up to you for your strength and confidence. Thank you!
Meggie, seriously?? Anyone who has ever met you knows you are beautiful, successful, witty, fun, amazing…and looks damn hot in that dress. I love mean girls actually, gives me someone to make fun of at parties… Should Miss mean girl want to try me out my twitter is mrypel
Thank you, Michael. Your post means so much and you are right…..mean girls do make for good blog posts at least! I appreciate your support and hope to see you soon!
Her parents must have neglected to share with her the do unto others, if you don’t have anything nice, don’t say anything at all, & be confident in who you are and let others be lessons in life. Sad for her.
Lucky for you to be strong, beautiful, and look awesome in that outfit….and to have spent a fun lunch with friends as opposed to a lunch spent taking pics of strangers and criticizing them.
Because my parents did teach me the above lessons, I’ll leave my comments at that
You are right. My lunch was better than hers. Love you, Nat!
That totally sucks Meggie! I’m so sorry. I’m not sure why as women we feel the need to be mean to each other. I know this doesn’t compare, but in case it helps at all I realized when I got home from work today that my black shirt that I thought looked fine this morning may have been see through all day. Which is made worse by the fact that that would mean people could have seen my giant pregnant belly through my shirt.
Haha. And I am sure you looked amazing!
Megs- I’m not sure what bugs me more on this… The fact that a “marketing expert” that blogs about personal branding thinks she’s a stylist (isn’t a signature look and unique POV what personal branding is all about???) or the fact that this woman clearly is living in a dated sense of what’s in for the workplace (closed toed shoes and pantyhose may have been mandatory if you worked in corporate America in the 90s, but can’t a strong, smart woman be confidant and on-trend in an industry that calls for creativity?) All emotion aside, I think this woman managed to cheapen her own brand reputation, but boost yours…this, all coming from one fashion forward marketing pro to another
You are exactly right, Lynn. I haven’t really looked her up as I was too upset earlier to. But it’s a good lesson for us all. So great to hear from you and hope you are well! xoxo
Meggie, I LOVE that you went right back to the source. Often people feel that they will never be called to account for their words, and when they are, it makes them think twice. I guess I can learn from this too.
The person who said you are polite and constructive is right. There are a ton of running blogs out there, but I read yours, in part, because you are such a positive person, and I enjoy reading about the support you give and get from the other PSs.
Also, I think your legs look really well toned in that pic. Running’ll do that.
Thank you so much. It’s weird how this day turned into an ego hit to an ego boost. I appreciate your support!
Well done Meagan – even though I don’t know you I admire your stance, your action and what you’ve written here .. AND I think you look fabulous! That spiteful waste of space was clearly jealous!
Thank you so much! Really appreciate it.
Wow. I don’t really know you, or her, but regardless – I have seen many women in my workplace with SHORT SHORT dresses/skirts or other attire that is inappropriate, but what you’re wearing in no way screams that to me. And you you hit the nail on the head – it takes a LOT of effort to be that mean to someone. I’ve worked with people that will go out of their way to make fun of someone and it’s not only hurtful but completely disrespectful to your peers. You look fabulous and I commend you for writing this post.
Thanks, Sara. It means a lot. The best part of this experience is all the strong women I have heard from!
I hope you’ll pardon such a statement coming from a man you’ve never met, but Jean Claude Van DAMN, you look amazing in that dress.
It’s really pathetic that people are STILL exhibiting this high-school Judgey McJudgerson “I’m better than you” bullshit. Aren’t we adults? It’s a pity such shallow behavior still exists.
Did I mention you look smokin’ hot in that dress?
Haha. Thank you! It’s nice to hear. And yeah, not sure when this ends? I guess never. But that’s sad. Thank you!
I love your entire outfit, Meggie. I’m wearing a very similar one to work at my small-town law office. GASP..maybe I should go to the club after work. Geez, some people are so so mean!
Thanks, Lyn! I’m sure you look great today!
Mean and ugly never looks good on anyone, especially if they are the one behind the camera.
You’re exactly right. Thanks, Darlene
I think you look great. How could someone who isnt Joan Rivers get off on posting pics of peoples fashion sense. If one could somehow harness the incredible power of this woman’s stupidity we could fix the energy crisis.
Thanks, Andrew. I really appreciate your support!
I know it’s insignificant, but I would have stopped what I was doing and as clandestinely as a guy can, oogled the sexy women walking my way.
As a bully expert, I also realize some bullies (ie pic takers) won’t really ‘get’ their error until they are unceremoniously punched in the face.
I think you’re beautiful, so do many others. F the haters.
Thanks, Mark. I really appreciate it. I think a lesson was learned yesterday
Man oh man! I think you look super cute and I wish you lived in Atlanta so I could borrow that dress!
As Madeleine Albright said, “There is a special place in hell for Women that don’t help other Women.” If this is the case, then there must be a more special place for Women that go out of their way to hurt other Women. Even if you were wearing a paper bag, who has the right to look at you and judge…let alone do so publicly? In my mind, no one.
I applaud you for taking this small moment in your life to teach other women (and people in general) that small acts can have large consequences. Everyone has a story and everyone’s life can be hard. Our own road does not get easier by making others’ roads rough. I guess this is not always a logical concept and one we should remind ourselves of more often.
Thanks Meggie
Us ladies have to stick together! Thank you so much!
Meggie -
A friend of mine posted a link to your blog on fb commending you for acting like a lady in the face of such a malicious ‘mean girl.’
It’s been shared several times now amongst our friends, and i’ve forwarded it to several of my own social worker friends/past co-workers with the hope that they can use it as a teaching tool for the young girls they work with.
It is still baffling to me that such ugliness and distain for other women is now considered (even encouraged as) the norm in post-feminist America. While her decision to post an innocuous photo & then chime in with completely unwarranted vitriol was in poor taste, at best, i wanted to take the chance to commend you and the way you handled the situation.
I’m sorry that anyone would have to be exposed to this rotting underbelly side of womanhood, but rest assured that the word is out. And you will have been responsible for changing the perception and behavior of many of us here in Indy and across the country.
Thank you for being brave enough to share your story.
P.S. You are bangin’ hot in that dress!! Grace Kelly AND Jackie O. would approve
Thanks Anne. I like you.
I think it’s a good lesson for all of us to be kinder and less judgy. Thank you for all your kind words.
Honestly, I wasn’t even sure which girl she was being mean about in the picture, as I think both ladies look great. People can be so ridiculous. I am happy you stood up to her and the others. Imagine what we could do in this world if more people focused on improving themselves instead of others.
I agree! We should be sticking together, not tearing each other apart. Thanks for your sweet words
What a shame. We’ve all experienced some degrees of bullying, teasing, ridicule. It’s sad that it happens. It’s sad that – despite our confidence and sense of self – these people can still hurt or embarrass us.
I’d like to share a thought about this, but don’t take it as advocating for us to tease, bully or ridicule the ‘mean girl’… She’s who I feel bad for. What does is say about the values and confidence of the people who feel the need to pick on others in order to feel better about themselves?!
I think the perceived anonymity of the internet lends itself to instances like this. Sites like JuicyCampus.com (which thankfully is no longer around) to the social web allow the people choose to be rude and inconsiderate in the real world to express those same, ugly thoughts online.
Thanks for sharing, Meggie. I hope people take pause and think of their actions online & off. Those negative actions and words truly have real-world impact.
Thanks Andy. You are right about all you said. In the end, I have no I’ll-will towards her. Just feel its a good chance to learn a lesson…..all of us. Really appreciate your support!
I think it’s a great outfit! Comfy, yet strong and empowered! People like that are just upset because they hate themselves! Be who you are and love who you are!
Thank you so much!
I think you look just fine. Cool and crisp on a hot day.
If you are comfortable, professional looking than don’t worry about what some ‘critic’ says. Although starting a tweet and pictures is a bit much. Cyberbully? Mean people suck.
Yes, I agree. I felt good and that’s what matters. Thank you so much!
I’m sorry this happened. I have *been* a mean girl – was awful in high school, and I can tell you why she did this. It wasn’t about YOU at all – she’s desperate for attention, and will do anything to get it. She’s terrified someone will laugh at her, so she points at other people and makes fun so everyone laughs at others instead. You look lovely and happy and confident in that picture – seeing someone else look happy and confident is hard for someone who is angry and insecure, and it brings out the worst in them.
I hope you won’t take her personally. Pity her, and pray for her to grow up enough to someday change her ways, but don’t take it personally – it’s all about her.
Thank you, Vicky.
If someone thinks your perfectly acceptable and exceptionally cute outfit is work inappropriate I would hate to see what she would think of some of the actually inappropriate work ensembles I have seen. She’d be after them with pitchforks as mean Tweeting wouldn’t be good enough for her. Ugh.
Haha well I am glad you approve!
I wonder if you would get so much support if you didn’t “rock” the outfit…
On another more serious note… don’t we have more important things to do than worry about what other people are WEARING???
Indeed we do! Thank you…..
But dude, can she rock an 18-miler on a Saturday morning and still look fresh as a flower? Doubtsky;-)
Plus, you KNOW those 2 cats passing in the photo just got done checking both you and Freeman out. Just sayin’…..
Haha. You are right, Gina! Thank you
For the life of me i could not figure out WHO she was talking about…..I mean, both of you look absolutely fabulous. I had to go back an reread to see that she was talking about your rocking white dress. Some people just don’t get it….:)
Thank you so much for your support!
OK Meggie! Now you know how much we all love you, so where’s this weekend’s run?
I know I’m late to the party on this one but the dress is AMAZING – you and Meghan both look great. The mean girl twitter-er is a loser!
Thanks, Jen. Just think what she’d say about your non-dri fit running gear!
LOL! I told Kevin that I needed to up my game in the running gear department, he jokingly asked me if I was 12 and was trying to be cool by dressing like everyone else.
I showed him the photo on Facebook and he said, hmm…. I can see how there could be room for some improvement:)
Dry fit here I come!
haha. Well trust me it’s not about how it looks, but more comfort! Excited for more long runs with you!
I’m behind on reading this, as I just saw it on Tara’s FB. What an immature, silly little woman she must be to need to take/post pictures of other (strong, beautiful, confident) women. There’s a “stylist” here in town who does the same thing and then posts them to her website. Pretty trashy, if you ask me.
Yeah….pretty crazy. It makes me sad that people do that to others.