I am not mad at MTV and I don’t care about the VMAs – they have always been more about shock and performances than any sort of actual award. But this Miley Cyrus discussion we are all having is pretty interesting.
I told my BFF this past June that I hated MC. He told me to give her new song “We Can’t Stop” a listen because it was awesome. I did. And it is. I downloaded it and love running to it because it’s catchy. Then I watched the video and thought – “sweet jesus, what producer greenlighted that hot mess?” before carrying on with my days and the occasional listen of La Da Di Da Di. But fast forward to this week and I think that everything she did on Sunday night is career ending unless she makes some drastic changes and fast. Parents are upset. Kids are screened from MTV. Those that loved her as Hannah Montana don’t know what to do with this moonshoe-kicking, tongue-wagging robot-looking star. And anyone who ever thought she had a good voice has since watched her VMA performance and knows that Sméagol could out sing her.
Where could she go from here? My guess: She will try to outdo herself and be more shocking. (I can’t even imagine what she’d replace those foam fingers with)
But I think that this week is her peak – she is the subject of every watercooler discussion, most Tweets and Facebook posts and every parents group that has an August meeting. Her album sales are off the charts. People love talking about her and she loves that #fact.
But she isn’t an artist. She isn’t a good singer. And if we are going to talk about twerking, let’s make sure to give twerk-credit where credit is due. (You can’t twerk with that skinny ass, Miley Ray)
Sadly, she is a young girl who society loved for being provocative and shocking until she got too provocative and too shocking. And we don’t have a lot of tolerance for that. She’s like the girl who found a job right after graduating from a party school and wasn’t told that employers don’t find her “schmammered” stories from Thirsty Thursday as funny and endearing as her sorority sisters used to. She’s the girl who was told she looked so good after losing weight that she became anorexic to keep the compliments coming. She is the one that claims to care so little about what other people think that “She can do what she wants to,” and yet all she actually cares about is what people think. She is a moth to the flame of attention and though she is riding high this week (maybe literally), she is burned up.
I find her disgusting. I want to spray “bitter apple dog spray” on her tongue every time it pops out her mouth. I thought she was seriously inappropriate (as my friend Martha said “Ok, we get it. You’re having sex”), I thought her dancing looked like she was full of ball-bearings, dragging her side to side, her hair was just plain ugly and she ruined Blurred Lines for the majority of us 30-somethings who found it to be our song of the summer. But I also feel some societal guilt. Because we bought her song. We watched the music video. And we encouraged her with attention, only to say “stop” when we assumed this 20 year old (SHE IS TWENTY) would know we think she’s gone too far. Because we expected that this girl born into stardom would know when it was too much. Ha!
I, like most people who found her outrageous performance to be outrageous, hope that she doesn’t rise to further fame because of her patent leather undies. But I don’t want to see her fail. Instead, I’d love to see a time when she took a breather and came back with real strength (not this perceived strength she boasts). I would love for her to say “Man, there is nothing attractive about me catching flies with my tongue. I am going to focus on my career and bring you something not just unique, but talented. I’ll be back when I am ready.” If she can make good music, then we’ll listen to her once again. And maybe after some time and healing, we’ll even consider watching her again.
But if she doesn’t go down that path – if she continues to look more than Lady Gaga crazy with less than Lady Gaga talent and artistry, she will be washed up and on Surreal Life before we know it. And we’ll all watch her destruction happen just like we have Amanda Bynes’. It’s your party and you can do what you want, after all. Just don’t ask for privacy during “this difficult time” when you showed no privacy getting yourself there.